Thursday, 25 March 2010

Vacuum? Yes. Empty? No.

I'd better start at the beginning, I suppose, and let you into a few of the secrets behind why I'm living single for Jesus.

Girls were very important to me. So important, in fact, that my record stands at six. At the same time, that is. Girlfriends. Only one was serious, though, before you start thinking bad of me. She was serious about things too, although not quite serious enough in the early days to be too bothered that one of the other six was in the same class as us at school. Juniors', that is. I loved her. Enough to show off in front of her; enough to chase her more often than the other girls in the playground. Enough to tell her. She moved away one day without telling me. I was gutted. Gone. Couldn't believe it. Vacuum inside.

Although my current number of girlfriends at any one time quickly reduced to one as I matured and learnt some of the rights and wrongs of love, I found that my need for that one girlfriend was constant. Over my teenage years, I had a number of different girlfriends and soon after finishing with one, I would be yearning to meet someone else. The vacuum needed filling. I, like the rest of my fellow humans, was a well-developed love junky.

At the age of twenty-one, I came to believe in Jesus (a story all in itself) and had a very powerful experience of God, filled from head to toe, outside and in, with love . And that insatiable thirst was suddenly - shockingly - met by someone who was actually capable of quenching it: God. Although I'd been on the journey many years seeking love, I hadn't thought of looking to him. It came rather unexpectedly. And I've never quite been the same since.

Love is the reason I'm single. Love for God. At the end of the day, no one person can fill the love-vacuum inside. Except him.