Sunday, 19 June 2011

Hack it all down


We had a massive tree removed from our garden yesterday morning. I mean, this tree really was big. It was like - big!

Anyway, it's got me thinking, like these things do. This tree had taken over our garden without me really noticing. You see the trunk when you walk past on the way to the prayer shed and you hardly look up. Next time you go out, you see the trunk again, and above your head the tree has grown a little higher but you don't see it 'cos you hardly look up.

The other day, I stood by the pond and looked up.

It's was big. Nothing in the garden, or in anyone else's garden as far as the eye could see, is as big as our rogue sycamore. When you look up.

Things grow. Things get taller, wider. Things take hold, dig in, creep up. They take over, they loom over, they press down; they fester, they intimidate, they dominate. And we hardly look up.

We see the trunk as it always has been at eye level and we walk on by. Not seeing. Not looking.

There are parallels.

"He said this or that to me all those years ago." - and we don't look up.
"I can't talk to him about it." - I won't look up.
"She hurt me bad when she did that." - we don't look up.
"I've never said anything to her - how could I? What's the point, it won't change anything." - it's not worth looking up.

"She's a bitch," we say in our head, in our heart.
"I wish I'd never known him," or even, "I wish he were dead." Yet we smile when we see him. We greet him or her as a friend. But we never look them in the eye. That would be too painful, too impossible. We don't look up and see the fact that a hurt unexpressed, an unspoken offence has become a massive dominating tree of an issue. A grasping, clasping, creeping, crawling, root of an issue. We can't. It's too painful, and of course we have to protect ourselves above all other things 'cos we're selfish when it comes to this, blinded by our own shortcomings and inability to build strong, true, loving friendship. We're cowards who won't look up.

Let's call in the tree surgeons! Let's deal with the beasts of issues that dominate the garden, choking all the other plants. Let's be courageous and express the things we left unsaid.

No, let's rip up the germinating roots before they become a tree. Let's love.


n0rma1 said...

Searching stuff...

s0upy said...

Yeah, I'm certainly being searched on this one myself, and so are others I've spoken to. It must be possible to live totally free in this area. Mustn't it?